À Deux Côtés by Doreen Dacilas Center’s fellow during Spring 2019

I am from maie moulen ak zaboca¹ dri blan ak sauce pwa,² from mangos, papaya, and cola laykay.

I am from The Citadel, Port Au Prince, Gonaives and Jacmel. I am from seasonings and epis. Smells of food that will feed your hunger and feed your soul.

I am from the hibiscus flower and palm trees.

I am from the 3 Ls: Legis, Lakay, Lekol,³  and Jean-Jacques Dessalines and Toussaint Louverture. From Papa Jean and Florismen From Eugene Dacilas and Pierre-Louis, from Ton Ton Bichat and “wap kon Jorge,”⁴ from “Sak Pase, Nap Boule.»⁵

I am from the laughs, prayers, playing dominoes, kompa⁶ and eating fritay.

I am from Seventh Day Adventist and observing the sabbath, to God will provide.

I am from Haiti, the island deemed as poor, but rich in history and culture. I am from the 1st Black independent nation in the Western Hemisphere. I am from Hispaniola and the Haiti you don't see.

I AM HAITI.

            There are two Haiti’s: the one that is portrayed in the media and the REAL Haiti. The one commonly seen in the media is made to fit a narrative depicted by carefully chosen images to play into the storyline that it is a poor and unredeemable nation. One which is constantly tormented by natural disasters like earthquakes and hurricanes; one whose delicacy, an Instagram-based food company, confidently but quite mistakenly, tried to label as mud pies. And the other, the REAL Haiti, is the Haiti I know, grew up with and love. Though personally I have not been given the opportunity to physically see, as of yet, the island with my own two eyes, I have been given the opportunity to see Haiti through the eyes of relatives, family and friends. I know countless stories and events that have occurred, and could tell them as my own. The stories I have heard from the mouth of those who have seen and experienced them do not tell the story of the Haiti seen in the news, but one of a beautiful place full of culture, history, laughter, delicious (a word that will never do the meals justice) cuisine, music, sports, education, amazing weather, and much more. They tell the story of a nation of individuals who, from its very conception, are resilient, hard working, and unwilling to back down from any challenge, a people who are able to find the balance between work and play. I mean how could you not, with such a scenery as there is in Haiti. They tell the story of individuals unafraid from straying from the status quo. They tell the history of a people who have made great triumphs, but are now trying to overcome a deeply rooted web of obstacles, set in place in order to keep them down. Obstacles which some are able overcome and others are not.     

            Such stories have been my fuel and have drastically shaped, and are still shaping, who I am today. The older I get the more I learn about Haiti and the varying experiences many have had growing up and living there (quite similar to the difference in experiences exhibited by us living in the US today).  I also become familiar with Haiti’s contributions to other nations, music, food, culture and more. In learning so I became so proud proclaim my Haitian Heritage, a possibility that has become common among other descendants, as of late. As a young child, I did not understand why others refrained from broadcasting their culture and ethnicity, why the news would always show negative images of Haiti that did not match the accounts I was told. And more hurtful to me, at the time, I could not understand why I had interactions as the following with a friend in the 10th grade when the topic of Haiti was brought up:

Her: I HATEE Haitians

Me: But I’m Haitian, so you do hate me too?

Her: Um no, you’re different so it doesn’t count and, besides…

Me: Wait, why do you hate Haitians?

Her: To be honest, I’m not really sure why, I’m Dominican and I was just taught that we were supposed to hate you guys so…

Though she shrugged and laughed her statements off, as if it was nothing, it meant something to me, so much so that I still remember to this day, roughly six years later. From that I even remember my mom warning me that I should not share the fact that I am of Haitian descent with my Spanish teacher in high school, after we learned she was Dominican. My mom was fearful that such hateful sentiments would affect my grade in some way.

            Such interactions and avoidance of the truth is nothing compared to what many other Haitian migrants and Americans had faced pre 2000s. As many were terrorized, discriminated against, and belittled, all due to their origin, and false claims and rumors surrounding our nation. All of this made clear to me why many Haitian-Americans, migrants, and those who like to be called “Haitian by association” today are so proud to proclaim their origins. It is a result of knowing the other side, the history, cuisine, music, languages, people and more, the true Haiti. The true Haiti that I cannot wait to visit some day. Though I am proud to be born in the US and thankful for my experiences here, I am also proud to say that I am of Haitian descent, and more importantly, of the Haiti that makes me delighted to say I AM HAITI.

Doreen Dacilas received her B.A. from Hofstra University in May 2019, with a triple major in Global Studies, Political Sciences and Spanish, and a minor in General Business. She served as student fellow of the Center for “Race,” Culture and Social Justice during the spring semester of 2019, and developed a project on the Center’s Instagram account featuring numerous interviews with members of the Hofstra community on diversity on campus. She will be starting her Law School Program in Fall 2019.          

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1 Corn meal and avocados.

2 White rice and black bean puree.

3 Church, home, and school.

4 Direct translation “you will know George.”

5 Greeting used to mean what’s up?

6 Genre of Haitian music.